Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
