last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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