so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
