If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Randomize
