Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
