idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
