Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
