The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
