16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize