You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
