Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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