brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
