on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just found a bag of teeth...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize