I like to think it a success when the cops are called
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
