so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Found the puke drawer
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Randomize
