But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
