I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
