i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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