Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
