I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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