I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
did you just send me my own nude
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
