Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
