So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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