She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
