Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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