just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
My life is pants optional.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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