and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
