Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
