Got a toothbrush?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
