For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize