All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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