TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
