I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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