i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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