I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
