I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
