I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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