Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
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