i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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