The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i need an iv and a liver transplant
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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