it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
