why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
