If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
