so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
im six kinds of drunk right now
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
