Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize