I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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