She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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