I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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