in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
