so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
