Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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