You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
So many bounce houses so little time
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize