Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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