Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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