i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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