You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
