Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
