My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize